As usual, sayang dropped me a MMS.. There were 5 pictures in total, and I thought they look awesome in the white baju :D That's because for the past few days I've been seeing families in white looking really wonderful ;)
Was too lazy to get myself out of bed to bath & head to Jun's place, so I watched a movie on funshion.. And lazed around in bed while on the phone with Hua. Continued with funshion, and I decided to start watching the drama which Khj is acting in right now, hehehe. Titled Mischievous Kiss. Damn, listening to him play the guitar makes me wna marry him. *Shy* HAHAHA! And here's the conversation between me & sayang. .
Me: "Omg listening to Khj play the guitar makes me wanna marry him!!!"
A: "I must learn also!!"
Me: "What.. You think by playing guitar only I wanna marry you meh?"
A: "Hmm, what else must I do to make you say I do? Hehe :)"
Awww, how cute can he get :P *melts*
On the phone with him now! Glad to hear that his Mum is asking a couple of questions.. The conversation went well. Everything was nice, until he touched on the part about migrating to Dubai.
I know, his family is there..(ppl asked me if he'll migrate there too) Well IDK, but it's too abrupt to hear him telling me about his plans after graduating from uni, which is in a couple of years' time. It just sucks to think that he's gonna be so goddamn far away from me.
A: "I plan to bring you along with me."
How to?
Even if I turned 21, and decided that I can live without my family, what about others around me? There's many things around me which I'm pretty much unable to say "bye" to them just like that. Plans are plans, they may change as people & situations don't stay the same.
As much as I want you to stay, I am not in the position to stop you from pursuing in your career overseas.
I'm PR (Malaysian). I lived in Singapore since I was born, hence I feel nothing at all for M'sia, furthermore it's just next to Sg. Dubai is darn far from here. And to be frank, I don't know and I don't wanna maintain a long-distance relationship. I'd much rather end it than have to go through all these shit. I don't want the feeling that I miss you so badly I cry to sleep every night.
It just sucks to think that if we're unable to settle all the complications before heading there together, we have to be so darn far apart. Y'know how I feel darling? We've been through so much (yes I'm referring to all the bad incidents), and I don't wanna give up just because of this. First it was the 4-years plan. Now it's the Dubai plan. It's way too much for me to take it.
I'm only seventeen; not using age as an excuse. It's just not what is meant for me to be facing at this point of time. It's just... It's just wrong lah :'(
I know, I know.. You gave me so much assurance. But no one controls what's gonna happen right? Like, WHAT IF you really prefer to get a job there than in Sg..
“ ‘What’ and ‘if’ - two words as non threatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?” -Letters to Juliet ♥
I feel upset, but there's nothing that can be done. Nothing at all. Swallow my tears and keep mum. :'(
And yes I am, living in fear---From that moment you told me about your plan...
No comments:
Post a Comment