It's a cold, rainy night..

Burst out crying when I was on my own and I fell asleep after that this evening.. Bathed after I woke up.. As usual, no appetite.. Received Apyh's call a while ago.. Seeing them have a misunderstanding upsets me real badly. It's like what always happened between A & I.. I know I shouldn't be talking about all these, it's just gonna make this night harder and longer for me.. "break" and "up" are two simple words which are really hurtful when put together. . I hope J don't hurt my precious lil girl with those words anymore, cos I've been through this pain and yes I'm still going through now.

Spent some time reading through e-mails which I stayed up late at night to write for him, so that he'll get a really sweet morning.. Ended up weeping during 3rd meeting in class. Sigh. Memories are killing me inside there.. Baking a cake for him was one of the best memories we shared =) Didn't mind getting all dirty trying out recipes, even falling asleep at Hua's house while the cake was baking etc.. Hah, good old times.. Have been trying hard to make things alright but it seems so pointless; cos everything's still going wrong..

Anyway life still has to go on, getting back up on my feet ain't gonna be easy but at least I'm trying hard now.. I just feel exhausted from all the fake smiles I show in school, but breaking down every now and then..

I miss you so darn badly, I know I'm gna spend tonight crying to sleep. Do you miss me, like how I miss you? :'(

Oh darling cos you'll always be my baby.. Goodnight sayang, xoxo