To a faraway land

Dear diary

It's 1.24pm now and I'm sure he has already checked in at the airport. I woke up staring at the ceiling and started to think through over and over again. What went wrong, and what can be done. I always believe in this-- When there's a will, there'd definitely be a way.

I hope he holds the same will as I do to pull it through. I know he's stressed up and all, I wasn't understanding enough for that.. But I hope he'll see that people do change for the better, for someone who means a whole lot to him/her.

And yes, I'm one of those who'd give anything to make us better :')

I remember speaking to one important person last night. And I know everything said was meant nothing but good. But you know there's one thing about me.. I can go to countless people for advice, but at the end of the day, more or less I'd end up sticking to what I believe in.

As afraid as I can be feeling right now, I'm taking out all the courage that I have left to do what I believe in.

Today kind of marks the beginning for me to work on being a better partner (for him). I know many of you out there are wondering about what has been going on.. It's been a really chaotic week of ups and downs. And now all I wanna do is just to sit down and reflect. Cos I'm determined to do something about it, not just walking out of us.

I'm sincerely thankful for all the concern, but I have to clarify that my darling boy isn't bad at all. He's really special, so special that maybe I don't know how to handle him well, that's why things ended up this way.

I learnt this from my Primary school CO instructor, when I was once late for practice.

He told me, "Better late than never."

Things may have went wrong, tough times may be here, but doing something to improve/change the situation would always be better late than never.

I think my precious knows me best, that I don't fancy any superficial stuff. What I'm looking for lies deep within the heart. Genuinity and sincerity; which he has both of it! I was too greedy to think that he's not sincere enough to me.

I'm writing here every now and then, whenever I have a sudden thought about something. I really wonder if he'll still be reading anything here.. Whether he does or doesn't, I still wanna say..

I know I've been really really bad, but I need your trust (so badly) that I'm ready to change for the better :')

It's been an hour of writing here. I guess I should wash up and get out of the house for some fresh air.

I miss you darling.

xo